Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
