pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
