Already got asked if we're dating
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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