i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
