I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
