I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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