Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize