Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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