my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
