Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
