If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize