suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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