Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
