Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
