physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
