that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
