Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
