Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
