i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
