I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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