I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
