Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
