So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
