I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
this is an emotional support booty call
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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