Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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