6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
