hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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