thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
