even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
