Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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