Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
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This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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