i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
