Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
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and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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