Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
