Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
