You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
