remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
