I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The ass gains better be worth it
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