I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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