if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize