I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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