i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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