I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
