Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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