Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
