I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
