Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
