my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
