I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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