help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
