Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's shark week go big or go home
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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