Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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