I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
