I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sorry about my life...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
