Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
