Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
