I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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