she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
