I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
