Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
