the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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