32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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