Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
