My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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